Chemistry Bonds and Valentine’s Day?

Encompassed by the walls of Hallmark cards, I embarked on a journey to select the perfect card for the loving people in my life on Valentine’s Day. I rummaged through endless lines of punny, corny and endearing messages found between the flaps of cardboard for at least a half hour before I settled. I grew impatient in my search for the perfect cards. Then, on my way out of the store I noticed one card I had left unchecked. Its top left corner peeked from behind the pink envelopes before it and seemed to give me a wink. (Weird, right?) I slid my sneakers across the carpet floor to give just one more card a chance.

It had an image of the periodic table on the cover and inside read, “You are the Sodium to my Chloride.” The former chemistry nerd in me jested at the pun. Though I found much enjoyment in reading this card, I did not select it as my chosen one, but it did get me thinking.

I began to think about the relationships between element bonds and human bonds. Was this card an accurate personification of what goes into forming real HUMAN relationship bonds? Now, I do not remember much from chemistry class 10 years ago, but what I do remember is that the entire premise of the subject is studying the composition of elements and their reactions with other substances.

If I were to translate this into the study of human chemistry, I would say it is a subject which studies the composition of personalities and their reactions to other interactions. When we say someone has “chemistry” with another person, what we typically mean is that Sally’s personality and Harry’s personality react positively with one another. The interactions between the two of them have made them feel a sort of closeness. Perhaps I would argue this is where the creation of a “bond” would come in. A bond comes out of furthering interactions between people in sharing similar experiences, having intimate conversations and going through challenging circumstances. Similar to the chemical interactions which create a bond, human bonds are then created.

I guess there is some reason to why we use terms like “bond” and “chemistry” to describe human relationships after all.

Still, chemical and human bonds can be broken if such interactions are no longer present. Maybe you and your partner do not share much anymore, you don’t trust one another, or you have given up on creating experiences together. The good news is, I believe bonds can be strengthened overtime even more simply than they can be broken. 🙂

This Valentine’s Day, I hope you took the time to look at the chemistry that you found between you and your partner and all of the interactions you both have created to manifest your unique bond. I wish for all couples, friends and relatives to keep up these interactions with the people you love dearly, and keep that bond everlasting.  ❤

 

The Power of Likeability

The Power of Likeability is a concept that possesses a greater influence than often realized. How often do we go out of the way to go to a certain gas station, hair dresser or bank teller, for the sheer reason that we like the person we interact with in those instances? Does it mean that this bank teller is the most experienced of all of the tellers in the window? Does the gas station attendant at Exxon pump more skillfully than the one at Shell? Most likely not, and we do not care!

From this observation alone, we can understand what the power of likeability has on our decision making, and how we can use it to our advantage in our own lives. It is so easy to get discouraged from going for a job or pursuing a new career because you feel you are too inexperienced, for example. We have all been there. What happens next much of the time? We allow for inexperience to weight more heavily in our minds as a disadvantage than our real hidden advantage, our likeability. The reality is that we are already well-equip with all of the influence we need to land that job or make that deal as long as you commit to using it!

Likeability is comprised of authenticity, charisma, empathy and confidence. We all possess these characteristics but it is bringing them out.

5 Tips to Be More Likeable:

  1. Be present, be attentive, be yourself.
  2. Make eye-contact and open your body up to audience.
  3. Speak with enthusiasm.
  4. Engage in active listening.
  5. Mirror audience’s speech, pace and tone of voice.

For more likability tips and anecdotes check out the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie!

When we begin to believe in the power of likeability and use this as an advantage in our everyday lives, we will be surprised at how many opportunities will come our way and not because of experience. Try it out, and see what comes your way!

It’s Not “Not Having the Time”; It’s “Not Being a Priority”

How many times do we exclaim, “I just don’t have the time!” However, what we really mean to say is “This is not a priority I am willing to make time for.” Whether or not it is for valid reason, we prioritize time for the things at the top of our list and as a result other tasks fall on the back burner.

A classic example is “I don’t have time to go to the gym.” Now, maybe you don’t because you have to work early in the morning, you have to be up for the baby after work, you have to go to work and work through your lunch break, etc. so it is impossible to get to the gym. Ok, of course these are valid excuses as to why you may not be able to go, but this really just means the gym is not a priority, not that you don’t have the time. You know you can make the time for a task such as this but you choose not to because you can make use of that time for a more important task. And, there should be nothing to feel bad about because of that!

By viewing this common exclamation in this perspective, it allows for us to reflect on the way we are using our time and if we are in fact using it for our top priorities or if we are using it to watch another season of Game of Thrones. Applying this perspective to our everyday can help us be more productive with our time.

A personal example I can think of for myself is “Not having the time to make cold calls for real estate leads” at my part-time job as an agent. It is something I say often, but is this really true?

Well, I wake up around 4:00-5:00 am on a typical day, go to the gym, do a morning routine, go to my 7am-5pm job, take a 30 minute lunch break in the day and get out at 5pm.

Though most of my day is occupied at my job, it is still not that I “don’t have the time,” it is because my job is currently taking priority over my need to cold calls. Furthermore, after work at 5pm, I have this time until about 8pm free to make cold calls. However, I also have friends and family I want to spend time with after work. So what is the priority? To make the calls or to spend time with family and friends? This is the type of question we are really asking ourselves when we claim we “don’t have time.”

Think about how you use your time throughout the day to improve the way you are prioritizing for tasks.

 

Ask yourself:

What is most important for me to make time for today?

The Meaning Regardless of Answer:

I need to make time for X, and at the cost of not making time for X.

 

Perhaps you can improve the way you are prioritizing time, or maybe you can simply accept that you are using your time for priorities, but just inevitable at the expense of another non-priority task.

#WhenIWas15

In honor of LinkedIn’s apparent 15th birthday, the site is trending #WhenIWas15 to encourage members to post what they wanted to be when they were 15. Reflecting on my teenage years, I remember myself to be someone not all that much different from who I am today. Still, my career aspirations changed drastically throughout the years, so it is fun to think about.

At 15 years old, I remember loving chemistry, of all things to be interested, considering someone who is now heavily interested in reading, writing and real estate. I remember taking my first chemistry class and believing I would grow up to be a researcher doing who knows what. This aspiration soon died and converted into a desire to be a nutritionist. Even today, I can see myself having pursued a career in nutrition, since I love to learn about new ways to improve my health. I had dismissed the idea after learning of the long road and low salary of the average nutritionist but that should not have discouraged me. At the time salary seemed like the most important thing to consider.

I have learned a thing or two about choosing a career 10 years later (wow, it has been that long since I’m 15, huh?) and I would give this advice to my 15 yr. old self had I known.

  1. You don’t have to know what you want at 15, going into college, during OR THEREAFTER OR EVER… Continue to shamelessly explore your interests
  2. Do not choose a career path based on Glassdoor salaries
  3. More education does not necessarily equal more pay or more opportunities
  4. Networking is the most important thing you can do when exploring careers and finding mentors
  5. Do not be afraid to change your mind. It is never too late.
  6. Always strive to learn something new everyday