Resolution: Improve my self-awareness.

I strongly believe this is the SOLE and ULTIMATE resolution to be set in replace of all those in the past and future New Year’s.

By committing to a journey towards improving self-awareness, all other life improvements will come as a byproduct. We all set new goals in the New Year to try to improve our self-esteem and make our lives feel richer, right? We begin to think about all that we are not doing, what we do not have and what we want, and formulate these goals based on all of these components. Some of the most popular New Year’s goals are eating healthier, getting more exercise, saving more money, getting more sleep, reading more, getting a new job, etc.

But, what if I told you that we really only needed to set one goal that would lead to the accomplishments of all those proceeding? Sounds good, right? It is easier said than done, but by committing to a journey toward improving self-awareness, we will develop the discipline to lose the weight we wanted because of our improvement in decision making and understanding ourselves, and will also be able to save more money as we become more aware of our priorities and what is truly important.

Perhaps defining self-awareness will assist you as you craft this single goal for the New Year. Self-awareness can be explained as recognizing our thoughts, feelings, emotions and desires, which will in turn allow us to make more reasoned decisions and choices. The constant improvement in this understanding will empower us to lead healthier and happier lives as we make more quality decisions and choices as a result. There are various ways to embark on the journey towards self-awareness. Please see below for four simple practices you can incorporate into everyday that will start you on this path, and take over the New Year!

  1. Meditation
    Through meditation, we allow ourselves a moment of silence, away from the noise in our everyday life. Here, we are able to observe what thoughts have been floating through our mind, and any emotion we are experiencing, prompted from those thoughts. In performing this practice, we are more aware of the various things that may trigger us in a negative or positive way. From here, we have the power to change our reactions to these thoughts and create a new association to them. As we routinely meditate throughout the week, we begin to discover the root of our emotions and are given the power to change them as we see fit. Such awareness will then become part of our everyday encounters, allowing us to manage various challenges and obstacles.
  2. Journaling
    Journaling is another amazing way to reflect on our thoughts and emotions. By putting this into practice, we can visually observe what we are thinking in our minds, and begin to analyze our reactions. Our thoughts are now real and live on paper, as if they have a life of their own. In our journal entry, we can ask ourselves questions like, “What did I do great today?” and “What can I improve on today?” These sort of questions will allow us to reflect on the whole day and revisit when we felt positive, uncomfortable, dissatisfied and/or proud. We can then understand the moments which had been associated with these emotions, and strive to improve our reactions in the more challenging or disappointing moments going forward.
  3. Reading
    Books allow for us to gain more insight into the lives and experiences of others, which we cannot experience ourselves. Reading expands our perspective beyond, assisting us in understanding others and even learning from them. As a result, we begin to empathize with stories, experiences and people who we did not even know existed. We become aware of other’s emotions and the events that lead to these emotions to rationally determine if we wish to be in a similar situation or not. Now, these books have influenced our own decision making and our ability to understand humanity and even a bit about our place in it. We can read specifically about self-awareness and other’s experiences on their own self-awareness journeys. Please visit Books to check out the novels under “Self-Improvement” for suggestions.
  4. Feedback
    This last step is most definitely the most daunting and vulnerable of all previous steps, and quite honestly, something I need to do more of, which is asking for feedback. Who is a better observe of you, you or other people? Of course, other people because otherwise people who chew gum loudly, talk with their mouth full and make conversation with you at the gym while you’re mid-set WOULD NOT BOTHER YOU if THEY knew it was annoying. So, if this is the case, this presents us with a new opportunity to better understand ourselves from other person’s perspective. Maybe we can do this after a big presentation at work, or during a mid-year appraisal review, or maybe more personally, opening ourselves up for feedback from our partner or friend about how we are doing in following through on commitments or listening to them when they tell us about their day. Outside feedback is necessary for us to make a change, because otherwise we may never be aware enough to change it. For example, my partner has pointed out my increase in volume while telling a story in restaurants, which I had not previously been aware of. Now, I look out for it and make the effort to catch myself if I feel the volume may be on the rise (Working on it).

In incorporating these four simple steps into our everyday lives this New Year, we are sure to be on our way to improving self-awareness and making us an overall better person this 2019!






Patience or Procrastination?

As someone who is a big goal-setter, positive thinker and visualizer, it is tough to face the feeling of not doing enough to achieve your goals. Of course, we can convince ourselves that we are taking action by talking about our goals, reading about ways to achieve our goals, etc. but until actions are being taken, there is little to no progress being had. I have faced this sort of reality of mine with a question of whether I am doing too little in taking the actions necessary to move my goals forward or if I should be more patient. I had been thankfully reminded that we all get distracted from our focus at one time or another and we also cannot be too hard on ourselves if actions are being taken but still feel we can be doing more. Still, we cannot also mistaken patience with procrastination.

I then began to think about the way to distinguish patience from procrastination, and that is with the assessment of actions we have or have not been taking. In this consideration I think there three questions we can ask ourselves to make this determination. They are the following:

  1. What actions are taking to move our goals forward?
  2. What actions can we be taking to move our goals forward?
  3. What is preventing us from taking these actions?

I have been pondering these questions for myself and my goals. My answers are the following:

  1. Searching for and analyzing homes daily/ weekly, obtaining real estate license, learning from professionals in daily life, viewing properties
  2. Submitting offers on properties
  3. Not finding a home suited for my criteria
    1. Why?
      1. Perhaps I am being too picky in a home selection; analysis paralysis as some may call it
      2. Perhaps I can be doing better strategically and more aggressively in finding what I consider to be a “deal”
      3. Perhaps I can be shamelessly submitting “low-ball” offers on potential properties

What I do not feel is a barrier in this quest is my fear in owning a home, being a landlord, or having the financials to take on this initial step. Strangely enough, these fears might be what hold many people back from following through on purchasing a home. Regardless, my barrier of not finding a suitable deal by not taking more aggressive action is preventing me from achieving my goal.

What I am trying to convey is that in being patient, actions are being taken, while in procrastination, we are not taking action but rather expect things to happen for us in time. If we are taking any action, big or small, we can only accept ourselves and tell ourselves we are enough regardless of our judgment on our own progress. You’re doing things. That’s all that should matter.

Stand the Rain

Looking up at the sky, I search for answers.

I wish to calm these racing thoughts, and grip these wild emotions.

I ask God to help me, for I knew there was reason for it all.

What is wrong?

I am lost.

I am fearful.

I am confused.

It is silent.

I ride through the neighborhood,

The wheels of my bicycles were cranking a mechanical sound

As it grooved along the pavement.

It is enjoyable, for I am present.

I feel free from thought.

I look at the sky as its now grows dark.

Suddenly, a downpour of rain hits my thighs,

And soon drenches me from ponytail to sneaker.

I initially feel this discomfort and itch to rush home to shelter.

In withstanding the storm on my wet ride back home,

I am flooded with joy, beauty and appreciation for this warm summer-like rain.

What was once a feeling of discomfort was now joy?

I continued, peddled and peddled,

Wet as a dog.

Finally, the gray sky cleared back to blue.

It was time to go home.

I had completed my journey

And all of my questions were answered.



Train 05683- A Poem? A Prelude? Brainstorming?

I had this whole thought for a book. It would be a love story but more one about finding yourself and how love can be a catalyst, the vehicle (a “train”) for that very self discovery. Below is my brainstorming of this idea in the form of stanzas. To call it a poem or not? Ehh, who cares.


A haughty man, but smart.

He has it all figured out, he believes.

A condo in the city, a Porsche and the finer things.

This what he calls love.

A love of material possession.

It is a pity, for this love is only what he can see.

Yet, his heart has never felt another,

Their warmth, their touch, and the palpitation it brings.

He sees no need, for he is satisfied with all of these things.


She stumbles and falls on the train platform,

With no one around to help her recover.

It is no problem, for she has lived a life on her own.

Mrs. Independent, is not only the book title she carries.

She recomposed herself quickly, with only a scratch on the knee.

Her responsibility had always been far greater than her own.

In a home of four and a father,

She was the oldest of the bunch,

An irresponsible parent transformed this daughter into a mother.

Now she is grown and her days feel fulfilled,

Both her work days and weekends consist of the same,

Alone in her room she is satisfied,

Does not need anyone, she believes.

The love for her books and writings will do.

She questions what else could she need?


Is there more to love? What is to be learned from these two?