Change.

“ Live dangerously, take things as they come; dread naught, all will be well.” – Winston Churchill

The quote by Winston Churchill are truly words to live by when dealing with change.

There comes a time in everyone’s life where we experience change, whether voluntarily or involuntarily. At times we are in a place in our life when we might feel too comfortable, and are ready for a new challenge to take on. Or, perhaps there is a more unwelcomed, unpredictable change in which we cannot control. Regardless, our initial reactions to any change can be intimidating. By reframing change in our lives, we can move forward with positive disposition and excitement for a new beginning.

We can all relate to a time we have worked at a job for a number of years, and simply feel like we are not growing anymore. The decision to take on a new job, at a new company, with a new staff of people might frighten us to the point of discouragement from taking this action at all if we allow it. As human beings, we are instinctually programmed to protect ourselves from threat. Change can often trigger a threat response and cause this debilitating fear. We are then in control to respond to this fear. Are we going to allow fear to take over and remain comfortable where we are? Or will we embrace fear and take a leap of faith into a world of the unknown?

Conversely, other changes we have no control over and are oftentimes unwelcomed occurrences, such as a job firing, for example, to stick with the theme. Perhaps you are satisfied at a job, you feel motivated to work and feel you are continually developing, and suddenly, you are handed a pink slip for your departure from the company. Unexpected. Unpredictable. Yet, highly adaptable. Once again our choice in how we react comes into play. We can frame this occurrence as an opportunity or we can continue to sulk in the woe of a job had lost.

We will miss out on many growth opportunities in life if we do not embrace change, regardless if voluntary or involuntary. Personally, I am constantly reminded that we cannot predict the future as much as I would love to believe I have such a sixth sense. All we can do is go by intuition in the moment and taking a leap of faith into something that may or may not work out. Trust and faith in this change may just lead to a more rewarding outcome than you could have ever expected. Releasing ourselves from the anxieties of the future by remaining in the present and submitting to trust and faith can lead us through any change.

Comment with a recent experience you have had with change and how you have adapted!

8/28/18

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  1. Having dinner with my grandma and talking about our days
  2. Taking a walk in the park on a beautiful night, having laughs and good conversation with a great friend
  3. Catching up on the phone with both my mom and my significant other to talk about each of their days

 

The Power of Conversation

We all tend to underestimate the power of conversation. Conversation, though is sounds simple, is no easy task. It comes back to the concept of being vulnerable. Conversation whether it is in regards to a trivial matter as small as asking the waiter for more ketchup, or a more serious matter in discussing your emotions with your partner, in both cases we are setting ourselves up for rejection or potential conflict. As a result, many of us choose to avoid conversation all together. This is our comfort zone, being non-confrontational and closed-off in fear of being “difficult.”

However, something we underestimate is the immense progress and joy we can gain from conversation because, guess what, much of the time that rejection or conflict you fear NEVER HAPPENS. Or, at least it doesn’t happen as dramatically as you might have imagined.

Let’s take the simple example of asking the waiter for more ketchup. Now, if you are anything like me, though I do want more ketchup, I probably would hesitate to ask the waiter with the thought that I would be pestering him. Yes, I know…. Silly. What is the worst that can happen? He doesn’t get me ketchup? He thinks I am a bother? It is unlikely he would come back with a new bottle and hit me with it or something because I suppose that would be the unrealistic and utterly worst case scenario. Conversely, if the conversation was breached and request was asked… Guess what? You might just get what you were asking for no problem, no big deal. Doesn’t that feel better? You got your ketchup free of any injuries to report back home about.

Now, for two more serious examples illustrating the power of conversation we will talk about conversation in work and relationships.

First, let’s consider discussing a promotion with your manager. It is no doubt easier to come into work and perform your typically job day in and day out than to challenge your position and breach conversation with your manager to discuss promotional opportunities. It’s scary! I know. However, in not taking the chance to beginning conversation about opportunities, you will miss out on them. How would your manager ever know what you are interested in doing? What if they just thought you weren’t interested so that is the reason you have not been offered new positions? They are your manager, not a mind-reader afterall. Plus, worst case scenario, again, you will most likely go back to working in your current position, so it sounds like there is not much to lose (Unless your manager is a [Insert your explicit here]). Anyway, the conclusion is that conversations alone can open up opportunities you may not have realized were even there!

In the second scenario, let’s consider discussing a certain way you are feeling with your partner. This can be a feeling that is really not even about them but perhaps it is something difficult in your family that you are dealing with, something at work, something about your current circumstance that is causing you uneasiness, and ultimately, may be influencing your relationship to some degree. Of course, it is easy to get caught up in the thought, “Oh, he doesn’t want to hear about this. I can handle it on my own.” “Oh, I don’t want him to take the way I am feeling the wrong way, so I rather not say.” “Oh, he’s better off not knowing because then he will think I am CRAZY.” We all are. It’s ok. Yes, we will have all of these concerns about sharing out emotions with our partner, but the sad truth is that when things are left unsaid, no matter how minor the issue, it will metastasize until it is something that cannot be so easily repaired. It is sort of similar to that leaky roof you knew needed to be fixed two years ago when it was just a small hole, but now two years and three terrible snow storms later, the damage is more severe and is going to cost much more money than had you have gotten it repaired two years ago. Fix the leaky roof now!! NOW is the time when it is no big deal, it is fixable, manageable, LATER is when it might be too late and may find yourself paying a premium for it. One conversation. It may be all it takes. As a result, you may well find relief, joy and sheer happiness in this expression. You may feel as though a world has been lifted off of your shoulder. After all, that is what a partner is for. To be there for you. Let’s trust that.

Let’s not underestimate the power of conversation going forward. We do not know that we do not know. If you are questioning whether to have an important discussion with someone in your life today, have it! You will feel better that you did, regardless. Good luck!