An Introverted Advantage

Though I have been trying not to hard-define myself as such, I am an “introvert” by nature. What I mean by this is to not allow for “introvert” to be my identity and put me in a box to make me fearful of opportunities I may perceive to exclusively be for “extroverts.” It goes back to the post about “Introverted Networking” (posted 3.23.18). It had been too scary and too out-of-character for me to attend these meetings, I believed, making every reason for why I do not belong there and should not go.

The typical characteristics of an introvert are shy, quiet and uncomfortable around people or crowded settings. Others possessive of these traits are often most comfortable alone or with limited human interaction. Networking events, being the exact opposite of this setting, are deemed to be inherently for extroverts. This is by no means an argument to say organizers of networking events should make gatherings smaller, quieter, or with less social interaction to make the introverted feel comfortable… NEVER! On the other hand, it is rather to say it is the responsibility of the introverted to transform this fear into an opportunity to grow outside their comfort zone.

This is what I will call the introverted advantage. For the extroverted people, who are often more confident in loud, talkative settings, these events might be no big deal. They are comfortable and might even thrive in an environment where they are expected to talk to strangers. However, this lack of discomfort does not allow for them to benefit from a networking event in the way it would an introvert. Perhaps an extrovert’s “uncomfortable” setting is a place where they have to be quiet, alone and isolated from others! Being in this place would, conversely, challenge them to be outside out their comfort zone. For the record, I speak of only the introverted advantage because this is all I personally know. I do not think I am equip to speak for the extroverted advantage, for example, so extroverts comment below! Let me know!

Back to the introverted advantage… As I see it from my experience, there are often more times we will be stuck in uncomfortable conversations, attend awkward parties and have to speak in group settings in a work environment, than there will be opportunities to be alone. For this reason, I find the organic functions of the day-to-day have more opportunities for the introverted to grow! All my life I simply wished I was more outgoing, beating myself up for being awkward in social situations. I was unable to see these events as opportunities, and instead, they were burdens. I can now see that my nature is more of an advantage than a disadvantage. If we are not challenging our own comfort, we are not changing. Once again, I do not encourage anyone to define themselves and label themselves as an introvert or extrovert, morning person or night person, shy or outgoing too rigidly due to the opportunity cost which may come with the inability to recognize discomfort as a chance to grow. On the other hand, let us search for these opportunities to be uncomfortable and get outside our comfort zone.

6/4/18

Three Reasons Why I Am Already Successful:

  1. I realize being a good person is sufficient enough a contribution to society already
  2. I want what I already have
  3. I have become better at forgiving myself for folly and moving on

To be Impressive Vs. To be Admired

When thinking about striving to be admired and to be impressive, one may assume them to be essential the same. Many want fame, fortune, and to be looked up to but read this one more time… Do these aspirations really fall in parallel? Does one always admire someone to whom they find to be impressive?

In this day and age, many of our role models are those who are celebrities, sports athletes, even models, but why? What do we truly believe equals success? Most of the time it is just this… Fame and fortune. Those people must have all of the answers, right?

Well, let’s pose another question to dig deeper. Are these people impressive in their accomplishments? Most definitely. Are these people to be admired for their accomplishments alone? I am not sure that is a black and white answer. I think when it comes down to the question of admiration, perhaps it extends beyond ones accomplishments. Here is where it becomes tricky because we now have to do this scary thing and consider ourselves. What are our values? What do we wish to accomplish in life? Who have accomplished such feat? What are their values? Is this someone we want to be like in the future?

When considering the word “impressive,” it is truly just a perception of another one’s accomplishment. This compliment is outward-looking, all about the observation of another, from a far. But did this person’s accomplishment cause you to “admire” them? When admiration comes into questioning we now ask ourselves, “Was I inspired by this person’s accomplishment?” “Did this person’s accomplishment have me strive to be better?” This now becomes an inward-looking observation. How did this person’s accomplishment impact you and your motivation? Most likely, if you felt more driven, more motivated and more inspired by this person’s accomplishment, you feel admiration, for this accomplishment had aligned with your values.

To summarize this thought, I will take an example of young girls looking up to Victoria Secret models, and considering them their “idols.” These young girls are impressed by these women and believe they admire them, but do they? To consider it admiration, I would have to assume these Victoria Secret models are exactly what these young girls want to be when they are older. They strive to walk runways, travel the world and pose for various lingerie photoshoots. However, in experience, this is often not the case (But , if it is, ok. Do you, girl!). Young girls (and boys, men, women, everyone!) often find themselves looking up to celebrities such as Victoria Secret models because of the more surface-level desire for fame, fortune and yes, a kick-ass body, but how shallow an impression being mistaken for admiration.

Personally, I have recognized the difference between “being impressive” and “being admired” by an advancement of someone close to me in their line of work, which had then prompted this very post. I had initially expressed how “impressed” I was by them. Yes, a great compliment, and I am impressed but still, this expression fails to convey how their accomplishment had rather inspired and motivated me FAR greater. The more meaningful and accurate expression is that I “admire” this person, for their accomplishment impacted me in a more profound way then just being something I was impressed by. Furthermore, to be someone who others admire is a much greater compliment and an accomplishment in and of itself.

To convey the conclusive thought of this post, I truly wish to encourage us to consider ways we can strive to be admired rather than be impressive to others. And also, consider the people we admire and what values are cause for our admiration for them.